My daughter’s first love

Before my daughter was born, I knew that she will be the other woman in my husband’s life. I am sure all the other mothers out there can relate to my thoughts.There is no better view to look at for us to see when we see that our children are raised closely in the guidance of their father.

As Sigmund Freud says;

 I cannot think of any need in Childhood stronger as the need for a Father’s protection. 

A child who knows they are protected can grow up feeling safe and secure. Emotions are strong in childhood, and often fear is one of the strongest emotions of all.  A Papa’s arms are strong and fearless and to a child, they bring safety and peace.

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Dear child , The world is your playground ,go on and explore.

A father’s perspective fulfills every child’s need for exploration and adventure

“Fathers represent another way of looking at life — the possibility of an alternative dialogue.” While we, as  mothers focus a great deal on raising perfect children, fathers have a different perspective. They let children dress themselves, choose their own breakfast, jump in mud puddles and swing on ropes tied to the rafters.

My husband let Natalie explore on her own but guiding her by her side. He encourages more free-play. He lets her climb & let her learn how to climb down. He has taught her how to safely descend safely from the  stairs & chairs. He is trying his best to make “palm tree ” ( or ponytails) in her ever messy hair. I love the way He put on her clothes that are totally as per his own taste and haste !

Fathers allow children to explore and give them freedom that usually isn’t allotted them by their mother. This different perspective is good for children because it gives them the opportunity to explore, to go on adventures, and to live in their make believe worlds.

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A father’s love is endless. When a father gets involved, He is parenting in his own way.

“The greatest mark of a father is how he treats his children when no one is looking.”

In Netherlands,  Papadag (Or Daddy’s day ) has become a standard norm. This is included in the calendar of every working father’s calendar. It’s the time of the week where in the father takes a day off from work to spend time & take care of his child. Isn’t this amazing?Dutch fathers take more an equal role in parenting and being more hands-on. 

Studies show that if your child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to your child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity.

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Any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a Father.
I am writing this post to give credit to fathers who are involved in parenting their child. One of the things that I have learned as a new mother is that when your husband respect you as the mother of his child, eventually He is an involved Father. With the stress of bearing the responsibilities of being the head of the family, His efforts should not be underestimated.

So next time you see your husband spends more time with your child, be grateful.Let him. Give the encouragement that He needs & deserves.Your child will reap the benefits of this. Do not think of it as He is sharing the “chore “but rather look at it as “He is doing his own way of Parenting “.

It is important to recognize and reward fathers  for being there, and actively teaching important life skills to children. It is important to their children, and meaningful to dads everywhere when you say “Thank you, job well done.” This, after all, is what makes life worth living. This is our own  true legacy: ensuring the health and well-being of our children : the future generation.

What is your parenting style? Do you also value the concept of  Papadag?

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15 thoughts on “My daughter’s first love

  1. Hello Becky, thanks for stopping by. NL is one of the countries where having maids or Nanny are not the norm. Not like here in Kw that almost all families rely on a hired-help for taking care of the kids even the mothers don’t work.
    In NL,mothers doesn’t have the pressure & not being criticized for taking a part-time work instead of full time in order to take care of their small children.Family is still the priority. While the child stays in the Daycare/Nursery ,then the mother can still work and attend to her child on a given schedule. But generally,lifestyles are different and decisions about childcare a matter of personal choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha! In my house my husband is the more cautious parent following rules. I let the kids get crazy and wild and teach them things I probably shouldn’t!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t have children but this post got me thinking about how my own parents raised me in different ways and what I got from them. My dad let me dig in the mud and build things from wood when I was little.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Aww thank you so much.
    I was in your shoes 2 years ago.I am sure that If that time will come, you’re going to be a great mother because your heart is big and your mind is open for changes.
    All the best wishes for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you Debra. I think that is a wonderful sentiment. No matter where we are right now, our fondest childhood memories & the love that our parents have given us makes us who we are right now.
    Thanks for appreciating.

    Liked by 1 person

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