My daughter’s first love

Before my daughter was born, I knew that she will be the other woman in my husband’s life. I am sure all the other mothers out there can relate to my thoughts.There is no better view to look at for us to see when we see that our children are raised closely in the guidance of their father.

As Sigmund Freud says;

 I cannot think of any need in Childhood stronger as the need for a Father’s protection. 

A child who knows they are protected can grow up feeling safe and secure. Emotions are strong in childhood, and often fear is one of the strongest emotions of all.  A Papa’s arms are strong and fearless and to a child, they bring safety and peace.

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Dear child , The world is your playground ,go on and explore.

A father’s perspective fulfills every child’s need for exploration and adventure

“Fathers represent another way of looking at life — the possibility of an alternative dialogue.” While we, as  mothers focus a great deal on raising perfect children, fathers have a different perspective. They let children dress themselves, choose their own breakfast, jump in mud puddles and swing on ropes tied to the rafters.

My husband let Natalie explore on her own but guiding her by her side. He encourages more free-play. He lets her climb & let her learn how to climb down. He has taught her how to safely descend safely from the  stairs & chairs. He is trying his best to make “palm tree ” ( or ponytails) in her ever messy hair. I love the way He put on her clothes that are totally as per his own taste and haste !

Fathers allow children to explore and give them freedom that usually isn’t allotted them by their mother. This different perspective is good for children because it gives them the opportunity to explore, to go on adventures, and to live in their make believe worlds.

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A father’s love is endless. When a father gets involved, He is parenting in his own way.

“The greatest mark of a father is how he treats his children when no one is looking.”

In Netherlands,  Papadag (Or Daddy’s day ) has become a standard norm. This is included in the calendar of every working father’s calendar. It’s the time of the week where in the father takes a day off from work to spend time & take care of his child. Isn’t this amazing?Dutch fathers take more an equal role in parenting and being more hands-on. 

Studies show that if your child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to your child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity.

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Any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a Father.
I am writing this post to give credit to fathers who are involved in parenting their child. One of the things that I have learned as a new mother is that when your husband respect you as the mother of his child, eventually He is an involved Father. With the stress of bearing the responsibilities of being the head of the family, His efforts should not be underestimated.

So next time you see your husband spends more time with your child, be grateful.Let him. Give the encouragement that He needs & deserves.Your child will reap the benefits of this. Do not think of it as He is sharing the “chore “but rather look at it as “He is doing his own way of Parenting “.

It is important to recognize and reward fathers  for being there, and actively teaching important life skills to children. It is important to their children, and meaningful to dads everywhere when you say “Thank you, job well done.” This, after all, is what makes life worth living. This is our own  true legacy: ensuring the health and well-being of our children : the future generation.

What is your parenting style? Do you also value the concept of  Papadag?

The World Carries On (Chronicles of Lessons from the Beach Pt.2)

“There are Far, far better things ahead of us than any we leave Behind ..” {C.S.Lewis}

Watching along the stretch of the Arabian Gulf gives me more & more beautiful insights everyday. One time while i was jogging along the seaside, I observed the whole stretch of the beach. This patch of the beach has a rocky part on the other side while the other part just after 100 meters have a supple white powdery sand shores, and when its low tide,  a lake-like formation in the shore appears. Just like a hidden Oasis. A lake WITHIN the beach. The patterns on the sand that the waves have created is a sight that i wanted to behold before the tides swept it away once again. This is one of the fascinating views i look forward every time i visit. Many times, i wanted to see if the small lake is there or if its hidden. It always give me the element of surprise in my beach encounters. I spent many hours just gazing at the azure blue waters glistening like diamonds against the sun   and realizing that the same beach who became  a  daily haven for Expats like me , is the same beach who suffered  trauma during the Gulf War in 1991.

Arabian Gulf sand dunes

The Arabian Gulf gives us a tremendous inspiration of what is it like  to move forward in Life. It had overcome so much from the Oil spills during the Gulf war, it had its darkest hours, the deadly pollution that engulfed it, with roughly 13cm thickness of slick in some areas. It’s like a mask that hide its beauty. That was the time when the Arabian Gulf was cast down with gloom. If we could recall, it’s one of the Largest Oil Spills in our History since the Gulf war broke out in 1991.

A quick reminder for us of the deadly Gulf  War  after math that release a HUGE  1.5 billion barrels of oil into the environment,which is by far the largest oil spill in human history.

Mesmerized by Arabian Gulf’s  sand patterns

The Arabian Gulf along with Kuwait have won on this struggle. It overcome those dark months.

Looking at the waters of Arabian Gulf now brings me a story of hope. Imagine how this beach looked like 25 years ago. While looking intently at the patterns I caught myself further looking forward and discovering new forms, new flow, and new explorations. It gives me discernment that some things are really  beyond my control. Sometimes it really pays off to just go with the flow. No matter how much I try to mold my life into something , there are things which  better be left on their own to transform. Whenever you felt like life had rejected you, after sometime you will realized that it just brought you to a better direction. I can testify on this one because It happened to me.

“What defines us is How we rise after we Fall “

As an Expat living in Kuwait for  many  years, many times I thought If I had made a huge mistake in my life for coming here. I had times I couldn’t sleep &  wanted to give up, resign from  my work & head on home. I am glad I stayed on. I would never ever imagined that my life would be so much better now than before. Seeing my daughter’s  happy face & wide smiles while we played in the shores of the Arabian Gulf gives me more joy than I ever deserved as a person &  as a mother. I have and would always treasure these moments.

See, Our character is being mold on how we respond when we are brought down. I am sure you knew the feeling of wanting to stop the time & giving up. It’s human nature. But picture this ; Have you noticed that no matter where you are, the world carries on? With or without you it goes on its round the clock rhytym. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. The seasons laboriously changes through time. People grow old and new generation emerges. The world doesn’t stop just FOR YOU. Nature always do its own course. It has no stop- overs. It is autopilot. It always fascinates us, always brings enlightenment.

What is the hardest struggle you’ve been battling on right now?

Do you also find it hard to let go of your past & move on?

In case you do, Hang in there! I hope you find the right inspiration in your life to move on.